People talking without speaking, People hearing without listening

In a city with such diversity, so many people, so much going, it's easy to find yourself being swept up in the hustle and bustle of everything; the sights, the sounds, the...everything. Although I believe that the whole is oftentimes greater than the sum of its parts, I think it's important to recognize what each of those parts is, and the role they play. I can easily say that I had a fantastic day, and you might assume that what caused it to be so is the fact that I'm here in New York; and that's part of it...but only one part. Looking back at my experiences as I write this, I realized that the best way to tell about what made this day so wonderful would be to depict a kaleidoscope of sights and sounds, of people and thoughts. I find that by being present and aware of what you're experiencing, you may be amazed how much joy you can observe just be paying attention to each moment you're in, rather than letting it all blur as you speed by.

Which is why whenever I travel to a new place, I find the best way to experience it is by walking, especially in a city as big as New York. It really is easy to hop on a train or take a bus or even a taxi, but you might miss those proverbial roses. So when my parents gave my a deck of 50 walking tours of New York City, I was thrilled! I spent most of the plane ride over reading all of the cards, and picking the ones I wanted to do most, then prioritizing those. I decided that I most wanted to see Central Park and the New York Public Library, and I deviated from there.

I happened upon St. Patrick's Cathedral on my way to check out the MOMA, and although you can't tell by this picture, the this is only the facade-the building takes up almost half of a city block! I was also amazed to come across such a pristine piece of history (built in 1858), as the buildings surrounding this church are all modern and fairly blah sky scrapers. The Catholics never cease to amaze me with the choice of gothic architecture for their places of worship-just look at those spires reaching toward heaven!

On my way to lunch I noticed this little park and decided to explore. I came across this bridge, and so I began to cross, pausing briefly to peer over the side and take some pictures. As I was doing so, I noticed a cute couple smiling and hugging, and although it made me miss Matt, their happiness made me smile too. Then the guy dropped to one knee and proposed, and the girl, momentarily stunned to silence, recovered quickly and began to jump about and cry "yes!" I almost ran over to congratulate them, but then thought better of interrupting their moment, and so quietly continued on my way.

After picking up lunch at Wholefoods, I took the subway over to Central Park West, having decided to dine at the Belvedere Castle, the highest point in Central Park. As I was jostled out of the train by a crowd of people, I heard a tune being played on the pan pipes, driftingfrom somewhere above. Walking up the stairs I realized the tune as Simon & Garfunkle's "Sounds of Silence", and as I reached the landing there was the guy, with his pan pipes playing as people hurried by. He really was quite good, so I stayed to listen to the end of the song, then continued on my way. As I was leaving the station I heard a couple people whistling "Sounds of Silence" absentmindedly, and I thought of how beautiful and ironic it was to have that tune be carried along into the noisy city above.

This picture is the view from my seat at Belvedere Castle (it really wasn't much of a castle, but more of an observation tower, but it's still cool to say that I dined at a castle!)

This is the part of Central Park that I feel like I've seen in most movies...The Mall. I can only imagine how pretty it must be in the spring when those trees are filled with leaves and blossoms, and people idly mingling on benches.

One of my walking tours mentioned that there was a Literary Circle at the far end of The Mall, so I knew I had to go there! Literary Circle is made up of 4 bronze statues: Fitz Greene-Halleck, Robert Burns, Sir Walter Scott and William Shakespeare. The first one I'd never heard of, and I found that funny because he was the only American in the bunch-2 are Scottish and 1 English. I would have thought that we had plenty of Americans we could have chosen to depict on this Literary Circle, but that being said, I do quite like the work of Burns, Scott and Shakespeare (pictured: Robert Burns)

Since my whole reason for coming to New York in the first place is for a children's writing conference, I found it only appropriate that I head to the Alice in Wonderland statue. Although I loved the statue, the best part of my experience came when I asked a nearby girl to take my picture.

"Do you like Robert Pattinson?" she asked. I told her I did, which prompted her to tell me how he's the whole reason she came to this statue.

"How's that?" I asked.

"His butt was on that mushroom, and now my butt has been there too!" I smiled and said that that bit of information has now enhanced my enjoyment of the statue too, and had her take a picture of my on that very same mushroom.

The New York Public library was every bit as wonderful as I imagined it to be. The first place I headed to was the children's section, and I was delighted to find the original stuffed animals that A. A. Milne wrote about in "Winnie the Pooh". Shown here are those very animals, that Milne gave to his son Christopher Robin. Christopher gave the animals to Milne's American publisher, who eventually donated them to the library where they stay on permanent display.

No trip to New York would be complete without a visit to Times Square, and so I walked the couple short blocks from the library and took this very touristy picture. The coolest part about my short jaunt here was the Toys 'R' Us that had a gigantic ferris wheel in the middle of it! (you're right Alisa, it IS cool!) Although I didn't ride it, I enjoyed watching the giggling children go 'round with their parents.

Start Spreading the News...

I'm leaving today

I want to be a part of it

New York, New York!

Last night I stayed up much too late, to the point that I almost didn't want to go to sleep for fear that I might sleep through my alarms and miss my flight! (I have good reason, if you have not already read about my last flying experience...) At any rate, I was one of the first people at the Santa Barbara airport this morning, to catch my flight at 6am that would take me first to Salt Lake City, then to New York. I'm happy to report that I had a relatively unexciting flight, except for the fact that Joan Rivers and an entourage that consisted of very well dressed British people, was on my flight. Actually my entire flight (with the exception of Joan Rivers and her entourage), were all young, nicely dressed professionals leaving the Sundance Film Festival. To be honest I would not have even noticed that Joan Rivers was on my flight, except that a random flight attendant passing through the lobby saw my sitting quietly and reading my book, and must have thought that I looked like someone who might be interested in this celebrity spotting. It turns out that there was a documentary made about her life (Joan Rivers, not the flight attendant), and it premiered at Sundance. That most certainly was the highlight of my flight.

I arrived in New York around 5pm, and was immediately thrilled by the chill in the air...although it wasn't as cold as I was hoping, it certainly felt like winter! I had planned to meet my friend Seema, and so hopped on the Light Rail from JFK, then took the Subway into Manhattan to meet her. Now I love public transportation...nothing thrills me more than being able to take a subway or train when traveling in cities. I'm delighted by the network of tunnels twisting and twining their way above and below the streets, zipping people here and there; these places are especially wonderful for people watching, and New York is certainly not short of characters. During the 45 minute subway ride, I enjoyed two guys playing the bongos, which had even the most steel-faced businessmen tapping their toes.

My stop was the World Trade Center, and as I exited the subway's toasty interior I was blasted with a sharply cold wind that caused my cheeks to rouge and my nose to sniffle. Walking the few blocks to meet Seema I came across City Hall, which I took a picture of because the park in front of it with the lights and the full moon and the tufts of snow on the ground, just seemed to capture my vision of how New York would be.

Shortly after Seema and I met up, and although we were supposed to watch a movie that an organization that she works with was showing, we decided instead to skip it and go to dinner; after all it had been a few years since we'd last seen each other and there was much to discuss! And so we made our way over to Soho, and enjoy a meal of butternut squash pasta and hazelnut kale. We shared, ordered a couple glasses of wine and although we quite enjoyed our lovely french meal at the quaint Cafe Select, as soon as we paid our bill we walked across the street to a hip little taco stand and had dinner #2! This place was absolutely packed and was about the size of a small school bus inside with a heavy black door and bouncer at the back. Every few customers would head to the door, wait for the bouncer to find their name on a list, then allow them in...Seema explained that there was a nicer restaurant below.

We ended up taking our tacos back to Seema's cute apartment where we quickly devoured them and induced an almost immediate food coma. Not a bad first day in the Big Apple!

Vote NOW, please!

Although a slight diversion from my usual musings, I feel that the following bears equal importance!

My little brother Ryan is an amazing filmmaker, and he has worked incredibly hard for over 4 months to try to win this film contest. There are only 5 more days of voting left (voting ends on January 31), and you can vote ONCE each day...so if you can take a moment and click the following link and vote for his video, I would be much obliged!

http://www.vadofilmcontest.com/entry/view.aspx?id=25

It is a parody on the vampire genre, and I think it's quite clever. At least watch it once and please do vote!

It was Quite Necessary

Alisa and I in front of Michael Jackson's Neverland Ranch in Santa Ynez!

I just spent an absolutely delightful weekend with a friend from childhood that I have lost touch with since we graduated from middle school...she went to a different high school than I, and same with college. Yet nowadays, with the wonders of Facebook and social networking, we reconnected before Christmas and planned for her to come visit me this weekend; and so she did. I love rediscovering the wonders of friendship years later, and being reminded of why this person was so close to me as a child. That friend is Alisa Lai, and it's so exciting to hear about her journey since we parted ways after middle school: of her going to college in Monterey, becoming a law assistant in San Francisco, applying to law school. We also spent a great deal of time reminiscing about memories of girl scouts: of visiting teddy bear factory, and of collecting cow pies in order to fuel the kilns for a pottery class we needed to earn some badge or another; of our roles in our 4th grade class production of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory; of playing in a handbell choir at our church; of overnights in the Sierras to "pan for gold". What time was left in between was occupied by adventures throughout Santa Ynez Valley, and watching Michael Jackson music videos.

Perhaps it was the lingering nostalgia I felt after spending the weekend with an old friend, or maybe my curiosity just finally got the better of me. Whatever the reason, on my way home from dropping Alisa off at the train station I decided to pull over and explore the antique store down the street from my house, and what a find! I have always had an affinity for aged items...I love perusing these relics for their antiquity, as much as I enjoy imagining the past times from which they came. Books and hats are my Achille's Tendon, and I happened upon a treasure trove of both! So after much consideration, and equal amounts of input from various sales ladies, I settled upon this hat:

And this book:

And spent the rest of the afternoon curled up on my couch, wearing my "new" hat and reading my "new" book. The book, "Molly Make-Believe" by Eleanor Hallowell Abbott bears this inscription in the front cover:

To Millie from Ed.

A momento of a beautiful Easter Sunday, 1912

It may not be Easter, but this Sunday afternoon could not have been spent with a better book, and for anyone who is looking for a quick, whimsically comic romance, you would very much enjoy Mrs. Abbott's first novel. Although I certainly did NOT need another hat, nor another book, I have taken such great pleasure in both that I assure you (and maybe I'm more assuring myself)...both were quite necessary!

On Finding Earrings

I began this year with the desire to clean out all the clutter and unnecessary stuff that seems to accumulate around me when I'm not paying attention. This desire usually crops up just after Christmas, when I return from spending time with my family and friends in the Bay Area with armfuls of new gifts, only to realize that I have no where to put them! Thus my winter cleaning spree began.

But this year I did not stop with my own personal belongings...my cleaning fever spread into my work life, and I attacked the tasting room with equal vigor and fervor (I work at Carina Cellars, a winery in Santa Ynez Valley, CA...www.carinacellars.com). During these past two weeks I emptied our storage closet and cleansed it of all obsolete objects, reorganized our entire inventory, moved furniture around, set up new displays, repainted walls, and my crowning glory...finally finished our bar (which had remained in a temporary-fix state for 6 years!) It's amazing what you'll find when you're not really searching for any one thing in particular. For example I found the original paint used to paint the tasting room, allowing me the simple pleasure of a perfect match, and thus being able to touch up, rather than repaint all of our walls. We needed a new "Open" sign...I discovered we had two! When finished, we (my coworkers and I) took great pleasure in the fresh, new feeling created by my physical cleanse of the tasting room, a feeling which spread into a brainstorm of new marketing ideas, sales tactics and event ideas. These slight renovations breathed new life into our whole approach to our jobs, allowing us to feel excited about our work once again, rather than stuck in the slump of the "another year, another dollar" mentality.

But I didn't stop there; I couldn't! I was on a roll. All of my physical clutter-cleansing lead me inward, to go through old computer files and delete those unused bits of information to create room for new ideas and new files; I did this for both my work as well as my personal files. I finished with the work files in relatively no time at all - but the personal files took quite a bit longer. I found countless beginnings to stories that had yet to find their endings, snippets of ideas and thoughts waiting to be fleshed out, characters waiting patiently to be given tales to inhabit- all forgotten by me over time. I was excited to find that some of these lost thoughts actually fit perfectly into the novel I'm currently working on, and I even finished a couple of the poems!

But it was the last file I opened that I found to be most interesting. It was titled "Writer's Block", and once opened it contained only one paragraph, which I will share with you here:

Feb. 25, 2008: To me, writing is like dropping an earring on a carpeted floor. Immediately you bend down to look for it, but what do you find? A tangled mess of hair, renegade dust bunnies, a cheerio or two? Not willing to admit defeat just yet, you continue your search, widening the parameters and expanding your discoveries: a previously lost bracelet, an old ticket stub, another cheerio. Each of these newly recovered treasures elicits memories previously forgotten: grandma giving you a bracelet on graduation day, the movie you saw on your first date with your middle school crush, the bowl of cereal you shared with your best friend as you talked her through her first break up. You are temporarily distracted by the warmth that comes from these memories, and you stay and bask a while. But distractions aside, you eventually press on and begin to use your hand as though it were a metal detector, brushing blindly over the carpeted expanse until your eye catches something; a glint under the bed. You take a few moments to maneuver yourself under there amidst the cobwebs and dust bunny colony until finally you feel its tiny metal body back in your hand again. Nothing beats finding that earring that you had secretly thought gone forever, but don't forget that that's only one possible ending. Never become so caught up in your search for the earring, that you neglect the other treasures you find along the way.

What is Enough?

I read a lovely little book last night by Clarissa Pinkola Estes, a woman I first became acquainted with a few years ago when I was looking into an MA in Mythological Studies at Pacifica University. Actually the degree would have been an MA in Mythological Studies with an emphasis in Depth Psychology, as this university centers its education around the philosophies and ideas of such thinkers as Carl Jung and Sigmund Freud. For those of you who are asking, "What does a degree in mythology entail?" I'm glad you asked...and I think the Pacifica website does a pretty good job of summing it up:

Pacifica Graduate Institute's program in Mythological Studies explores the understanding of human experience revealed in mythology and in the manifold links between myth and ritual, literature, art, and religious experience. Special attention is given to depth psychological and archetypal approaches to the study of myth.

Although I eventually deciding not to go forward with the degree, that hasn't stopped me from my quest to become knowledgeable of all the writers and thinkers on the Mythological Studies reading list, and Clarissa Pinkola Estes is one of them.

Mrs. Estes is a Jungian-trained psychoanalyst, an award winning poet, and the founder of a human rights organization that focuses on broadcasting stories over the radio to trouble spots throughout the world. She grew up in a family that told many a story, something which later fueled her love of the oral tradition and her passion to share that with the rest of the world. My kind of woman!

I went a little crazy on www.half.com last week and ended up ordering quite a few books, most of which are on my reading list, and a couple of which were not. While Mrs. Estes and her book "Women Who Run With Wolves" are on the reading list, I ended up ordering a different book of hers that was not: "The Gift of Story: A Wise Tale About What Is Enough". I'll eventually read the former, but the latter was the one that really caught my attention. Actually it was the synopsis that made me push the BUY button:

"Stories that instruct, renew, and heal provide a vital nourishment to the psyche that cannot be obtained in any other way. Stories reveal over and over again the precious and peculiar knack that humans have for triumph over travail. They provide all the vital instructions we need to live a useful, necessary, and unbounded life-a life of meaning, a life worth remembering."

After reading that I thought to myself, "I could have written that...that sounds like me!" Yet when the book arrived yesterday, I'll admit I was a little disappointed; what I had assumed would be a lengthy and in-depth analysis of the nature of Story and its importance in our lives, was in actuality only slightly bigger than a 4x6 picture with only about 30 pages between its two covers. But sometimes the most powerful gifts come in small packages, and the story she told in those 30 pages was exactly as she had promised in her title...it was enough.

I'll resist the urge to paraphrase her lovely story, but I will say that this is a book that I think all would enjoy. The question posed at the beginning is simple: "What is enough?" Take a moment to think about your answer; what does "enough" mean to you? If you had to leave your life right now and go out into the world, what would you take with you? Would it be something tangible, something meaningful yet transient? At first my answer was my journal-I would be devastated to lose my collection of ideas and writings, but I have so many journals...would I be able to take them all? Then I thought, my computer. My computer can hold all of my thoughts and ideas and musings, and it's also something that can connect me with friends and family all over the world (provided I have an internet connection!). But then I thought about it some more, and I realized that although I would be sad to leave those behind, I don't need a journal or a computer to harbor my thoughts and ideas and stories; those I can carry within me. The ancient people certainly didn't have computers and emails to connect them...they simply had to walk and pay that person a visit, and when they told their stories, they did so by gathering together and sharing them aloud.

So I read the book, and her answer was so simple that I knew it to be true for me too (hint: it's also the name of a chart topping song by one of Britain's most popular boy bands) Answer: All you need is love. If you were stripped of everything you owned love will remain, and with that comes the power to connect with others and start anew. When you really think about it, she's right...it really is enough.

Auld Lang Syne

Should old acquaintance be forgot,
and never brought to mind ?
Should old acquaintance be forgot,
and old lang syne ?

CHORUS:

For auld lang syne, my dear,
for auld lang syne,
we'll take a cup of kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.

And surely you’ll buy your pint cup !
and surely I’ll buy mine !
And we'll take a cup o’ kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.

CHORUS

We two have run about the slopes,
and picked the daisies fine ;
But we’ve wandered many a wearyfoot,
since auld lang syne.

CHORUS

We two have paddled in the stream,
from morning sun till dine;
But seas between us broad have roared
since auld lang syne.

CHORUS

And there’s a hand my trusty friend !
And give us a hand o’ thine !
And we’ll take a right good-will draught,
for auld lang syne.

Auld Lang Syne, a poem written by the Scottish poet Robert Burns in 1788, is often sung on New Year's Eve to celebrate the end of one year and the beginning of the next. Poised at midnight on the cusp of December 31 and January 1, we pause to reflect on the year we just completed and anticipate the year we're about to begin. Whether 2009 was a good or bad year does not seem to matter at this moment, because 2010 beckons eagerly with promises to be better; resolutions are made to improve and grow, and the resolutions made this time last year seem far far away. We drink to happiness and health - and all across the world people celebrate the promise of new beginnings that can only come from another year's conclusion.

Last night the full moon shone brightly above as Matt, Veronica, Dave and I spent a quiet New Year's Eve at my house. As we watched on television as Dick Clark celebrated the ball drop on Times Square in New York, I thought of my resolutions for 2010 and I realized that they were the same ones I made last year: to complete a manuscript for my first novel and publish it. That has been my resolution since I learned to write as a child, and each New Year's Eve I resolutely declare that this year I will accomplish my goal. So again last night, I made the same vow only this time I realized that although my resolution is made in initially unwavering determination, I seem to lose that mindset somewhere in the hustle and bustle of everyday life. My ability to maintain the resolutions that I set out each New Year's Eve are only as strong as my own resolve. I know I'm not the only one who seems to face this yearly conundrum, and I find that it's easier to take strength in the knowledge that there are people all over the world fighting their own personal battles of resolution. It's the promise of a fresh start that brings us to try again another year with renewed vigor and hope.

Auld Lang Syne literally translates from old Scots verse to mean "old long since", or in more idiomatic English "long long ago" or "for old time's sake". A simple song reminding us to remember the times of "long ago", should "old acquaintance be forgot", and I realize that I've been looking back at each past year as a failure to accomplish the dream I set down at each New Year's Eve, when really I'm forgetting that each of those moments has been leading up to the moment when I actually will achieve that dream. I'm so focused on the ending-the resolution-that I've failed to recognize the time that's passed as essential to the journey towards the resolution. These times of "long ago" are what give us the vantage point at each New Year, to be able to see with renewed hope of the times to come, and a simple change in perception is all that is needed for me to realize that each year has in fact brought me closer to my dream.

A good ending is only as good as the story leading up to it, and so I proceed into 2010 with renewed hope and anticipation of my continued growth in my journey toward my dream.