Total ECLIPSE of the Heart

I'm sorry for the title of this post, but I couldn't help it...for some reason I could not get the Bonnie Taylor song out of my head as I was writing this, and it was too cheesy to pass up. Yet I digress...

Now let me first admit that when the Twilight series first came out, I wanted nothing to do with it. I thought the whole series sounded completely cheesy (like my blog title), and several friends whose literary taste I trust greatly had quickly sworn of all things related to Twilight and Stephanie Meier; and so I did too.

But time passed, and they began to make movies about these books, which had by this time become a global phenomenon. It seemed that almost everyone around me fallen under the Twilight spell, and when I found out that some of my guy friends had also read (and liked!) the series, I knew I had to read them myself to see what all this fuss was about. And so I did.

My initial impression: what is all the fuss about? I didn't love them the way everyone else did...I actually found myself wishing the narrator would follow one of the more interesting characters (like Jacob or any member of the Cullen family), because I found Bella to be insufferably melodramatic and quite annoying in her whiny persistence to become a vampire. I also found Meier's writing to be average, and some of her passages to be a bit long-winded.

HOWEVER...

I read through the entire series in less than a week and did find that I enjoyed myself despite the aforementioned complaints. Regardless of my dislike for Bella, I found Jacob and Edward to be interesting points of tension and enjoyed the vampire/werewolf history of hating each other, only to have them eventually join forces for some epic battle scenes.

I'll also admit that I was at the midnight release of Eclipse earlier this week, and was just as excited as the hundreds of other fans (note: I was also at the midnight release of New Moon). What can I say? I love being amongst the throngs of excited fans, hearing their collective "oohs" and "ahs" when a half naked werewolf or sultry, sullen Edward comes on screen (let's be honest, those werewolves' bronze bodies trump the pale vampires' any day!)

"How did I get to this point?", you might ask; from wanting nothing to do with the series to staying up til all hours of the night to watch the movie premier? It actually took a little help from my friend and  Joseph Campbell, to help me understand what all the fuss might in fact be about.

After reading all the books I had a conversation with one of my girlfriends about my dislike for Bella and how I found myself unable to relate to her character.

"How can you not like Bella and Edward together?" my friend asked, incredulously.
"I think what they're experiencing is more of an unhealthy obsession with each other," I answered, simply.
"But haven't you ever been in love?"
"Of course! I'm in love right now, with Matt." Silly question, I thought.
"Then how is it that you don't understand the love they share? The earth-shattering, soul-changing love that so consumes you that your heart feels physical pain when the other is away?"
"I never saw it that way. They're just an angsty teenage couple, except one happens to be a vampire that sparkles."
She rolled her eyes at me. "Then look deeper."

So I did. This conversation took place a while ago, before the first movie came out, and at the time I was reading Joseph Campbell's "The Power of Myth". This book is a transcript of Bill Moyer's conversation with Campbell about mythology and its, well, power. In one section they discuss love and relationships, and I found his thoughts to be especially revelatory to the power behind Edward and Bella's relationship in Twilight.

Let's start with Edward. What is it about this vampire that has millions of girls swooning? Campbell says: "what we call monsters can be experienced as sublime. They represent powers too vast for the normal forms of life to contain them. An immense expanse of space is sublime.” It's true that vampires especially, have held a certain (sex) appeal over time. Even Bram Stoker's "Dracula" is a sensually charged story. It's no different in Twilight, with Edward's superhuman speed, strength and everlasting life enabling him to become an embodiment of the sublime; his existence is frightening to the point of spellbinding, and if the books' popularity is at all indicative, Bella is not the only one who is drawn to him.

Campbell goes on to discuss our attraction to the monster, this "other", in saying that "when the center of the heart is touched, and a sense of compassion awakened with another person or creature, and you realize that you and that other are in some sense creatures of one life in being, a whole new stage of life in the spirit opens out.” When Bella and Edward first meet in "Twilight", their attraction to each other is something completely out of their control; as my friend put it, they experienced an earth-shattering, soul-changing love for the "other". From that moment on they are one, even when Edward leaves in "New Moon", Bella is so connected to him that she is in physical agony in his absence, and throughout all of "Eclipse" they are practically glued at the hip after his return.

This was the point when I originally felt Bella was being her most over-dramatic, but when I put myself in her place, I realized that I too would be in agony if Matt were to suddenly leave my life. Suddenly Bella's plight no longer seemed juvenile, but very real and very painful. “The wound is the wound of my passion and the agony of my love for this creature. The only one who can heal me is the one who delivered the blow," said Campbell.

After viewing the Twilight series through Campbell's mythological lens, I'll admit that that was the moment I became a fan. Sure there are still some cheesy points, but at the center of it all is a love story, and great love such as this often comes at great cost. "Love is the burning point of life, and since all life is sorrowful, so is love. The stronger the love, the more the pain. But love bears all things; love itself is a pain, you might say-the pain of being truly alive,” said Campbell.

I understand the irony of this quote in light of the fact that one of our two lovers is the undead, however I do feel that the same principle applies. This "painful love" is worth seeking, and I believe that Meier has tapped into our desires for that same love in our own lives. This is why there are millions of Twi-hard fans all over the world, excitedly sharing in that powerful, life-giving love that makes us feel whole.

On Seeking...and Finding

As a child, one of my favorite games to play was hide and seek. I loved the thrill of being the seeker-of having that keen eye and searching out my hidden comrades, and when I finally did find them, laughing excitedly at my discovery. But I also loved being the hidden one-finding a spot where I could still see the seeker, and being able to keep my eye on them without them noticing.

It hit me this weekend that whether we realize it or not, as adults we never stray too far from such childish games. Even as adults we are thrilled at being sought out-of being found-whether it be in a relationship, or by a friend or family member. We like to be sought, and in that same respect, we enjoy doing the seeking-of finding that special someone in the world who makes us feel more complete than we ever imagined possible. Perhaps as we grow older, we don't shirk childish games as much as we think we do.

On Saturday, I witnessed two very important ceremonies: Matt's graduation from UCSB, and my college roommate Melanie's marriage to her lifelong sweetheart Tim. Two rites of passage that involved walking down an aisle and into a new stage in life; three searching souls who found what they were looking for.

Matt spent the last nine years, and countless hours working and studying to achieve his dream of attaining a Bachelors of Science in Biology from UCSB-making him the first person in his entire family to earn a college degree. His entire family came into town to celebrate this momentous occasion, and they even surprised Matt by picking him up at school in a limo after his last final! At his graduation ceremony, there were about 30 people who came out to show their support-friends and family from near and far; they were all there for him. And as the ceremony went on and the students walked down the aisle and into their seats, 30 pairs of eyes eagerly scanned the crowd trying to find Matt; hoping to seek him out of the hundreds of other black-gowned graduates.

And when they did find him, the pride in their eyes and the joy in their smiles was so strong that in those brief glances, many tears of happiness were shed, and great cheers went up when he finally made his way across the stage. I felt so honored to be able to share in the love and happiness of this moment, for both Matt as well as his family. After all those years of seeking his dream, with his family and friends watching and encouraging him in his pursuit, Matt finally found his dream fulfilled.

After the ceremony, Kelley and I found Matt and many more tears and hugs and kisses and smiles were shared. But the time was short, because we had to get down to San Diego for another ceremony: Melanie and Tim's wedding!

Melanie was my roommate in college for three years, and although we haven't lived in the same city since we graduated in 2006, we've remained close. Melanie met her (now husband!) Tim during their freshman year of high school. Melanie asked Tim to the homecoming dance because she thought he was cute, and Tim said he would have to let her know! But that was the moment that sparked it all, and over the past ten years their relationship has grown and flourished, despite attending different schools in cities far from each other for college, and Tim's near death experience-they made it through it all and only continue to grow stronger.

So that night at the Botanical Gardens in San Diego, a small group of friends and family watched as Mel and Tim walked down the aisle, said their vows, and were forever bonded together in holy matrimony. It was so beautiful to witness this marriage because to me it represents a true testament of love-of finding that person to spend the rest of your life with in "sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, til dead do them apart". They have already been through more in their first ten years of dating than most people do in over 30 years of marriage, and their love has sustained them through it all. That's true love-the good, the bad, the messiness of it all. That's what makes it all worth while.

Melanie and Tim saying their vows

Introducing Mr. and Mrs. Tim Allen!

I returned to Santa Barbara the next day (that's right, a graduation and a wedding all in the same day!) and threw a party at my house for Matt, Braden and Corie, and all of their family and friends. And as the party was under way I paused for a moment to look out at the crowd who had gathered on my front lawn to celebrate the accomplishments of these three amazing people, and I couldn't help but feel that I too had found something I'm always looking for-moments of great love that are worth coming together to celebrate. 

Greater Than the Sum of Its Parts

My article was printed in The Daily Sound today! 

oso band members (fom left): Tim Beutler, Phil Taylor, Nick Coventry, Andrew Fedders look forward to releasing their new album Harm Reduction, at their CD release show at SOhO (1221 State St. Santa Barbara) tonight at 9:00pm!

            Four talented musicians plus six years of dedication plus one unicycle, equals the band oso. But in this equation the whole is greater than the sum of its parts, and the x-factor of the crowd and the energy at their performances, is the factor that allows them to transcend to new levels of music.

            Individually, they are each great musicians-better than great in fact. Nick Coventry (violin, slide guitar, vocals) comes from a family of musicians, and began playing the piano at age four, then quit and picked up the violin shortly after. Phil Taylor (guitar, vocals) was given a guitar by his step dad at age thirteen, and credits his music with keeping him out of youthful trouble. Tim Beutler (drums, accordion, vocals) began playing drums at age twelve, while Andrew Fedders (bass, vocals) who began by playing piano, then trombone in fourth grade, later traded his guitar for his brother’s bass in high school. The result is years of experience in creating a musical force to be reckoned with, and today they’ve reached a denouement with the release of their fourth album, Harm Reduction.

            Harm Reduction showcases the diverse musical style of oso and each of its members. Their music has been described as math rock world music meets gypsy jazz with Eastern European influences, but the best way to understand their music is to experience it at a show.

Their sound seems to reach out to our deeply human need to hear music that moves us; and not just a tapping of toes or a swaying of hips. It reaches much deeper, past titles and genres, to a place of oneness and connection; whether to the band, those in the crowd, or ourselves it matters not. It's a feeling that wells up and as the music is played it is only natural to respond by listening.

The lead singer, Taylor, usually begins each show by riding his unicycle, wildly picking the guitar, and singing streams of lyrics with words that wash over each other in a rush of energy and emotion. As Fedders begins to play the bass and Beutler starts in with the drums, it's a bit like feeling another heartbeat-one that beats in time with the cadence of the music-sporadic yet exhilarating in its momentum.

            Once you hear oso live, it is easy to understand the x-factor: the energy and connection between performer and listener. It is a symbiotic relationship that is best felt, rather than described.

“If you don’t see us live at least once or twice, you won’t get it,” said Fedders. “The most consistent thing about this band is the response from people. We’ve been in farmer’s markets in New Mexico or pubs in England and Scotland, all sorts of demographics of people; and it seems like everybody can be touched by it. We seem to have appeal across certain boundaries.”

Whether performing in various venues in Santa Barbara, nationwide or worldwide, the crowd often becomes a mirror that reflects back the energy inherent in the music, creating a synergy that is consistent at all their performances.

            “At some point we’re just operating as a vessel for something that’s kind of mystical and unexplainable that takes over,” said Taylor. “It doesn’t happen that often, but it’s those moments where I’ve experienced that feeling, and there is some charge in the room, that it’s really hard to logically grasp what’s happening. Those are the moments I live for. Those are the moments that inspire me to get better, to be able to tap into that more, because it is kind of an elusive feeling.”

            That chemistry comes across on Harm Reduction. Recorded at Certain Sparks in Lompoc, it is their best collective effort yet: musically taut and stylistically cohesive, at some points aggressive, while others softer and more contemplative. Yet the energy is consistent throughout.

            “I like playing with people who you’ve played with enough that you can trust them completely and you can just transcend the music without thinking about what musically comes next,” said Coventry. “I like the raw, sheer energy of it.”

            The release of Harm Reduction also marks the beginning of an extended break for the band. While each member is heading in a different direction, they will continue to develop and hone their music individually, with the intention of coming back together soon. Although the Santa Barbara oso may be done, this is certainly not the end.

            “It’s foolish to say that anything’s over with music; it’s not like anything else,” said Coventry. “Our music is still out there, and to a lot of people it will still be growing and its very real.”

            To experience oso for yourself, come to the CD release show tonight at 9:00 p.m. at SOhO (1221 State Street). Admission: $10, over 21 only. Call 805-962-7776 or visit www.clubmercy.com. For more information about the band visit www.thebandoso.com.